In fact, if theres any way to add up what he owes from past lunches too, youre on perfectly solid ground asking for all of it. Please ask him about it (or his assistant if he has one) and/or just stop paying for his lunch, even if it involves not ordering anymore (if thats an option). re: Venmo. Regardless of what generation category would actually fit. Mistake #1 is putting everyones lunch order on your own card. However what I would do right now is STOP putting the expenses on your credit/debit card ASAP until you have a resolution for this. my boyfriends manager told me I could date someone better, new CEO keeps talking about diet and exercise, coworker asks me to cover for him when hes not really off, and more. I dont know what that makes me in terms of generation labels, but my kids both come to me for tech support. Otherwise Im stuck with the radio. Well, hes so KIND and AWESOME for giving all of them jobsits the least they can do *rage face*, I offered other employees to start taking turns to show their appreciation. I can hear youre still on that conference call.. (*And* female.). Lots of companies that are that small dont have corporate credit cards available or are very weird about how theyre used. (also fully aware that this First World Problems and I dont really have anything to complain about.) Venmo is basically just PayPal in App form, which is to say, they want to hold my hold my money without any of the protections of actually being a bank. Or his own? I realize that most of the folks here tend to be left of center, but Im a little disappointed that Alison didnt call this out. This sort of stuff does happen. Its the most junior employee in the office asking the CEO for cash. Can i grab a card putting lunch orders on your card moving forward? I just dont buy into each latest technology craze. It might be inconvenient, and it might be bad timing, but neither of those are reasons not to do it. This was my advice also- ask your colleagues rather than him directly. I ended up working for him for another 15 years (it really was a great company and a generally good boss!) Its just another fancy gadget that isnt necessary. Of like an entire race. Seconding Ritual. What kinda bootlegIm sorry that happened to you! How do you want to handle this?. This is an asshole-taking-advantage-of-power-dynamics and preying-on-women-not-wanting-to-rock-the-boat problem. I agree with the many commentators here- if he has a good assistant he isnt used to thinking about the details because he doesnt have too. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? We have used it and it is great. Keep your office door open. If barbs informed by identify politics and directly targeted at an individual are mean spirited, then that cuts both ways: the LW has done exactly that in crafting a narrative about whats happening (a narrative that traffics in fundamental attribution error and that most of the commenters here have implicitly disagreed with). I had just assumed that getting the basic (i.e. should you bring your lunch on your first day of work? Dangerous liaisons happen out of the spotlight, too. Also, the but Im anti-Venmo excuse without offering an explanation of why, a check, or cash makes me awfully suspicious. Yes, he should be asked. Maybe I could get a company credit card to eliminate this hassle?. Now you reminded me and I miss it!!!! PS PrinceC, Want me to swing past your office and bring your $$ to him too? "Two good friends who don't think they would be attracted can accidentally fall into infatuation. This is what we do. There are people who would try that, but theyre relatively rare, particularly with this kind of power dynamic in play so until and unless he flatly refuses to pay, theres no reason to assume that will happen. So youve got to be direct. I appreciate Alisons well laid out response. And even if he wasnt rich youd still be entitled to ask for the money back! OP: Hey, boss, lunch was $17, is this cash or reimbursement or what? my coworker is always dieting -- do we have to accommodate her? So, this is probably just a dumb question, but is there some reason boss cant pay you back in cash? It wasnt in my job description when I started in Big 4 public accounting, but I did it, as did all junior staff. He knows how much I make, but how do I gracefully make it clear that he should be expected to reimburse me like everyone else (and ideally, should do so without being prompted)? Then provide him his total. That seems a bit contrived, I dont think you need a fake excuse about paying off a credit card that makes it sound like youre in more dire circumstances than you really are, and that would require you to keep up the ruse by not using your credit card in front of your co-workers in the future. Thats just part of doing business. CEOs are crazy busy and probably not grasping all the details since they dont manage the day-to-day minutiae. WebIf he looked annoyed when you accepted, and he keeps postponing, then let him off the hook. If you ever feel guilty about quitting a job ask yourself this Would they hesitate to lay me off ? The answer is no. I surmise the part that gives them pause is the open office and the conspicuous discussions with everyone else repaying what they owe for lunch, unprompted, plus the power differential. Yep, and also were supposed to be grateful for getting a paycheck above minimum wage. you can certainly accumulate tons of reward points (same goes for booking plane tickets = free miles, etc.). Those little boomer slights are tiring. WHAT?! Houston said the woman overheard co-workers saying, "That's his wife? Same. Does your company have an expense policy or corporate cards? the people who are secretly working multiple full-time jobs from home, future manager is a bigoted jerk, boss hasnt paid me back, and more, weekend open thread February 18-19, 2023. Its not a story, its a likely explanation. and if a person does, maybe they should stop?). Our cafeteria is not too bad, but the food tends to be contain the cheaper carbs such as white rice, white pasta, or potatoes that if youre dieting, youre constantly told not to eat, so I only get stuff from there a couple of times a month. The tricky part is that this has been going on for a while without OP asking for money. If he cant bother to pay for his lunch I guess he cant afford to eat out. Arya $14 Not that thats an excuse, but generally when people are brave enough to point it out to them, theyre surprised/shocked/mortified and take immediate steps to fix it. People end up resigning in the middle of major projects, or right before big events, or while a key person is on leave, or right after another key employee just left, or when theyre supposed to be training someone new, or at the busiest time of the year. LOL okay. I had a boss like this and he was very wealthy and it really didnt occur to repay because in his personal life most of his bills got sent to his personal banker/accountant and was paid that way (still his money though) so for business he just thought their was an expense account. It seems to be a reaction to all young people being called Millenials more than to the actual specific age group, yeah. In fact, its their job to act that way after a certain level. If theyre really feeling froggy, they can say, Im collecting cash up front, or would you like to put this on your card? If youre not comfortable approaching him, maybe go to his Administrative Assistant. As Ive said here before, many of us who are Baby Bust are touchy on this because weve spent our lives being invisible. This seems a little over the top. I feel for you, OP1, but please remove the alas, hes a boomer and so therefore. from your repertoire. Can we settle up this week?. If he proves to be a cheap SOB who wont pay for his own food, thats unfortunate but theres no reason to assume thats the case. My older millennial ass just learned recently that this boomer nonsense isnt actually targeting the generation itself but the stereotype of the generation thats held across many age groups. This is insane. I could see this happening on the Office and that is the only place it should happen. Very high poverty rate, one of nations highest suicide rates, early mortality rates, low access to physical and mental health care, low wages, higher taxes, big meth and opioid problem, etc. You should still tell your boss that youve gone XX dollars in the hole paying for his lunches and not getting reimbursed and its no longer within your budget to do so, but this prevents the deficit from happening in the first place. I was in this exact situation at work. Old Job had a rule where only Senior People got company cards when they started. And if they do laugh and say good luck, then you know to start getting the money upfront instead of expecting reimbursement. Why isnt he just picking up the check or using his credit card for lunches for his employees? Either with his assistant or with him directly. My kids music is all on CDs and I havent yet gotten around to putting it on a USB stick. And this is how much you owe. Didnt help my boss pay up. And for what its worth Im in the older end of the millennial generation, and Im still not that comfortable with Venmo. Amen to this. It is not worth the resentment or financial issues involved! should I tell the truth in my exit interview? Sure, but we all get used to stuff happening automatically in our livesI have to remind my parents to feed the cats breakfast when Im away from home because theyre used to me doing it before they get up and occasionally forget that Im out of town and not just at work. It doesnt need to be a big deal, just something like, I wont be able to pay for lunch on my personal card anymore. You open your mouth and you say words. Make sure they dont add mayo! or the Tell them they cut my sandwich diagonally last time and I want it cut straight! not to mention if an order isnt correct and its my fault because didnt check all 10 sandwiches. What do you bring? There are only five people in the office and OP is the most junior. You say I cant afford to pay for lunches and ask everyone to prepay. 3) Forcing everyone to place their own orders and pay the restaurant directly online. I didn't even know he was married. Im Gen X and my first thought was that hes just used to stuff being expensed, and doesnt remember that the LW doesnt have the ability to do that on his behalf. Im Gen X, for what its woth, and I think this rich, entitled white dude is doing this completely deliberately. With places like Panera, McDonalds, Wawa, etc. My boyfriend follows random girls on Instagram, should I be worried? What skin pigmentation a person has is irrelevant. WebDuring lunch, he mentioned in passing that he cooked frogs legs for his adobo. So leave us out of the whole Boomer, Millenial conflict, whatever it is. Im reminded of one of my previous companies, when it was Wakeens responsibility to run errands, including picking up breakfast for Fergus, the companys owner. Wash your hands of it as soon as you can. If it involves walking around getting everyones order calling it in, walking to pick it up and coming back it could take that long. The wife started sensing the connection between her husband and the manager when she'd come into the office and was hearing from friends that they had seen the pair together around town. Assume as the junior person you are responsible for following up with the CEO on CEOs obligations, and provide a clear reminder: Hi boss! What in the letter makes you think he is entitled? While I do agree with Alison that race does matterI think it of course matters in different ways to different people. ? when asked to pay their bills. Depends on her career. I mean if theyre gonna do this money back and forth thing they need to make it easy-ish on everyone else. I think it can depend on what kind of ordering it is. But there are good reasons to not Venmo that doesnt make one a Luddite. This guy is acting like a jerk and should be DEEPLY embarrassed by his behavior. CEOs operate at a really high level and often avoid the day to day minutiae. This was going to be my suggestion as well. Those sorts of assumptions about people are unhealthy and breed discontent. Girls, What are the Ways for Men to Say They Care About You? But when I asked him to get me a muffin, he refused. (This was back in the day when bosses werent afraid to tell companies that they fired people, and they werent afraid to include the reasons, and if they didnt give the whole story, well, the potential hirers didnt care. Im a millennial and I cant handle Venmo. He sometimes gets starbucks gift cards from his coworkers/patients and he gives them to me. Pointing out that someone is in a demographic group that has more power and privilege isnt racism, just as it isnt racism to be thoughtful about when someones membership in a marginalized group might be relevant as well. This feels like an incredibly mean spirited comment. Especially when its something the other person cares more about, even when its something as obvious as who is paying for my lunch (answer = me). And no manager worth doing that for would ever want you to.. I also must have missed the part where the letter writer says they are female? And your tone. To the OP, it seems like it should be obvious to the CEO what is going on because its going on outloud with everyone else every time. Good grief. My last boss was this way too. Alternatively, I have a close friend who is a junior assistant to the CEO of a large arts organization. When we tried Venmo, the person who paid was always short changed at the end of the process. WebGuy Furious After Mooch Coworker Reports Him For Being Hostile For Refusing To Buy Him Lunch. I'm interestedshe's not..then ignore herwhy does she want to flirt again? Is there a reason youre using your personal credit card? :). 2. White men have fundamentally more privilege and wealth than othersthey may not be aware that the privilege and wealth afforded to them is not afforded to others.. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but because the office is so small and it seems like there are enough conversations going on that would lead most people to realize they need to pay, I think I would approach this more directly than I would otherwise. If she didnt have time to do it, or if other coworkers decided they wanted to eat something else and wanted to know if anyone else was interested, they would send it out it wasnt done by seniority or whos title/job grade was higher. I hope for the OPs sake Im wrong. All people younger than me = Millenial. I would love to be able to simply Venmo charge him, but alas he has made it clear that he is anti-Venmo (what?). I work in a small office and me and the owner are the only men. As a boomer whos FAR more tech-savvy than any of my millenial/GenX/whatever colleagues, thats a really good way to lose all credibility with the people who are, in fact, likely to be your supervisors/bosses/C-level execs for the foreseeable future. I could murder for a good chicken finger sub right now. 2) Not making multiple stops. ", To get right, you have to "back pedal," Houston said. Most people in my age group have no idea what it is. Redditor Moochingcoworker He may figure that youre expensing the meals or that his assistant is taking care of it or who knows what! Ive encountered rich people like this, instead of being generous (or even decent) they excuse themselves when the restaurant bill arrives or bluster do you know who I AM! That said, the boss is absolutely in the wrong here, even if he doesnt realize it, and the OP deserves to get repaid, as well as paid for every lunch going forward. And if they say my personal card, Well. This is the reason I refuse to be the lunch lady at work unless its part of my job description. And if for some reason it doesnt fix things if it turns out that he is a horrible person then stop ordering lunch for everyone, or insist on getting everyones money up front before you do. Let him know he owes you money, and assume that if hes not a monster, that will take care of it. Just because its above minimum wage doesnt mean that all of lifes expenses are covered with a lot of wiggle room to spare for everyone. Like he left just as the waitress approached with the bill. We paid on one check with separate cards. It happens quite often at work. Which is probably a dumb reason and has nothing to do with Venmo directly, but I still wont bother using it. To be fair, I think you could get a CD/tape deck, but you had to ask for it and it was more $$$. They Give Compliments. It frigging owns Venmo, yall. Another alternative: start bringing your lunch to work. 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